Until last Saturday I was living by myself for some 2 months. My sister left for Turkey last November, to teach English, and my mum left in early March to visit family in some Eastern European country.
I gotta say that it was the best time I’ve had in a while and I guess I should have expected it seeing how it was the first time that I’ve lived on my own. Having lived with my mother and sister all these years, I’ve sort of “had enough” and have come to realise that as much as I try to help them on certain matters, there’s no point in stressing over them when I’ve got my own life to think about; so living alone made me realise this in a different light. I also realised that we will grow apart and it’s entirely normal, as well as healthy.
Coming back home to an empty house after I sent my mum off at the airport wasn’t as “strange” as I thought it would be. I discovered a new sense of freedom as I made my own house rules (that doesn’t mean that I become something of a slob; I’m usually a very clean person) and realised that after having spent my entire life sharing a house with the same people, it felt great to be on my own.
I actually didn’t think about it that much, living alone, since I was either at work all day or at uni and the free days that I had off were either spent doing housework or homework. But there was one instance where I woke up at around 4am and for some reason I thought to myself: “I really am alone here and it’s something I should probably get use to.” Not to say that in some negative way, rather I realised that there would come a time where I’d ‘move on’ and start to develop my own life independent of my mother or sister (although I wish I’d started that earlier).
I guess the whole point of this post is me realising that there’ll come a day where I’ll be on my own (and probably even more so if my plans to leave this city come about). Not that I’m scared or worried about living alone, just that it’ll be a different environment and such. But there’s also the possibility of being in a relationship and living with the guy, but I’m not sure how I feel about that now.
The other thing that got me wondering about living alone was talking to a friend about it. I said something along the lines of “living alone is something that we’ll have to get use to if you want to grow up and be on your own; even if it means not having a partner” and so on. I noticed how he shuddered at the thought of it all and his response surprised me (but then again, knowing his general beta-male, man-boy, personality, I should have expected it). But I still couldn’t quite understand why he was so apprehensive to the idea of being on your own and he even criticised this girl that he knows who quit her job here to go and work in Disney Land in the US.
I don’t like idea of depending on someone else so as to avoid some outcome, whether it’s parents, a partner, or a few friends that you decide to move in with to avoid living alone. There are certain things that we need to accept as reality if we want something out of our lives and I think that everyone wants something out of their life; but it comes down to how badly you want it. As much as I disagree with my friend and his generally apathetic outlook, I still tried to get him to see what I was trying to say.
I could relate this with the culture of our world, how this ‘man-boy’ ‘beta-male’ type of personality doesn’t encourage an individual to make the most of their life, rather to take a more timid approach where you don’t think much beyond your own security. And at the end of the day they know that they always have someone else to fall back on: government, family, friends (these last two aren’t necessarily ‘bad’, just that there comes a point where a person shouldn’t always have to rely on others), and in worse scenarios people will fall back on the likes of food, alcohol, drugs and anything else that helps you escape this reality.
Then again living on your own (or in a share house away from your family) doesn’t guarantee any sort of maturity development, and in fact the few people that I do know who either live on their own or in a share house, do not exemplify any of the characteristics that I’d associate with a young, professional adult (well ok, maybe one).
I don’t care about living alone; if anything the freedom that comes with it is great, and even if I don’t have the right partner to share that with, it’s not something I’ll keep myself preoccupied with.