Every now and then I hear (or read) something that is so unbelievably moronic/stupid/irrational/etc, that after a moment passes by, I actually say to myself the following: “Hold on, did I actually just hear that? Did that really happen or did I somehow twist the events?” And I hate that I’m questioning my reality, questioning my mind in such a way that suggests I have no confidence in my mind. I quickly ‘snap out of it’ and realise that yes, it did happen, and no, I’m not twisting the events in some subconscious way. It’s just that, what was done or said, the severity of that action, the level of irrationality strikes at me in such a way that I guess I can’t help but to question whether it was what I perceived. And I’m not talking about foolish things, or something that someone said out of ignorance, but rather, a statement said or action done using nothing but the thinking faculty of your mind, and relying on nothing else but your mind, no knowledge of anything, just a simple statement/action that requires a process of mental thought.
I won’t get into examples, because I honestly don’t want to think about them. This entry is more of a rant as I found myself thinking about certain things, as I do. For instance, I came to the realisation a short while ago that there’s perhaps a subconscious reason as to why I’ve always been drawn towards the likes of science and maths. That fact that there’s so much order, all these laws/identities that can’t be broken or contradicted, the fact that this computer I’m using is functioning on technology that was made in an absolute reality, technology brought about by human minds applying reason, applying their knowledge to bring about order; it’s this that I admire most about engineering.
There was a time where I tried to involve myself in the “Arts” side of things, mainly in senior high school (and a bit after), and I’ve wondered why I never picked up on a lot of the stuff that was being taught. Was it because I just simply could not understand the book/play that we were reading? Or could it be that there is such a lack of order, of contradictions in the humanities, that I was just put off it all? I remember reading a statistic somewhere, that the vast majority of college students in America who have either experimented or are regular users of drugs (so the likes of marijuana, ecstasy, etc) are from the humanities departments. I’m not surprised and I can see why. It’s a shame that the arts/humanities is so low today, where a series of books about a teenage girl who wants to become a vampire sells more than actual quality novels. Or how a lot of people end up reading a book after they’ve seen the movie adaptation, because they wouldn’t have heard of it otherwise (better late than never hey?)
If I can get into an electrical/electronics engineering firm with mostly rational, intelligent people, then I’ll be happy (although going from what I’ve heard, it’s not usually the case). Otherwise I think I’ll just establish a lab of my own and live out my life amongst oscilloscopes, function generators, voltage sources, PCBs and countless components. At least I know what to expect when working with those devices (and when I don’t, the results are always pleasing), or what response I’ll get out of a circuit if a number of components are positioned in a certain way. I can see why scientists are stereotypically portrayed as staying indoors, away from other people, having no ‘lives’ (according to todays standards), etc, because there’s an element of truth to that stereotype. And the reason why such people would have lived detached from ‘society’ may as well be that they couldn’t stand the irrationality of the world, and perhaps they couldn’t identify the nature of this irrationality, so the natural response is to immerse yourself into a world of order.
Well I might not go so far as to become some sort of a ‘recluse’, just that at times the idea is so tempting. /End rant.